No matter your age, experience or relationship with your body, there are times when everyone could do with a confidence boost especially when having relations with a new partner. It can take time to become acquainted with another body and get used to them seeing you naked.
The rush of self-consciousness when baring all to someone new. Catching an angle you believe is unflattering in the mirror. A wandering mind questioning your bedroom ability. Sound familiar?
You aren’t alone with these thoughts and feelings this study found that 10 percent of women “never feel confident” about their body or ability during sex.
Whether it’s sucking in your belly to avoid a jiggle or positioning your ass so it looks just how you like it - these small acts can be manifestations of low confidence. With the ability to take you out of the moment and dampen your sexual experience.
If you need a little help seeing the glorious sexual being you are then read on for some top tips and positions to help you get out of your head and into the bedroom.
Don’t let your insecurities cock block you.
Top tips to gain confidence in bed
Explore your body alone
Your body is amazing and deserves so much love for everything it does for you so take some time to explore. How can you be comfortable with someone else touching you if you aren’t comfortable touching yourself? Whether you suffer from low confidence or not exploring yourself with your hands, fingers, a sex toy or anything you have to hand (within reason) helps you get to know your body better and discover which spots feel oh so good. This exploration session isn’t about reaching climax it’s about exploring and uncovering sensations that feel good. A solo masturbation session can boost your confidence and translate these positive feelings to a partnered bedroom session.
Be kind to yourself
If your friend started reeling off the things you think about your body about their own how would you react? Would you shame them and confirm each insecurity? Or more likely, would you remind them of the beautiful, kind human they are? Everyone deserves to feel at home in their own skin, and express what they want in the bedroom. Be fiercely compassionate, take every clumsy moment and wobbly bit and role with it, after all this is what makes sex authentic.
Confidence largely comes from loving yourself and being comfortable within your body- however, it is naive to think that reading one article will transform your relationship with your body. So if there are areas of your body you feel more comfortable covering splurge on some beautiful lingerie. Putting on something that makes you feel sexy (and look amazing!) will make you ooze sex appeal, and as a bonus hide those areas you may feel a little less positive about.
For more tips on how to raise your confidence in the bedroom and learn to be more comfortable in your own skin check out this post.
Confidence boosting sex positions
A fan favorite doggy style allows you to submit complete control as your partner sets the rhythm and power behind each thrust. If your lack of confidence comes from performance anxiety then this position can eliminate those feelings as your partner takes the lead from behind.
If your lack of confidence stems from body confidence then this position also allows easy access to each other’s genitals whilst covering the front of the body, which may be an area you are self-conscious about. In this position you can even experiment with a vibrator such as Crescendo, to really focus on your pleasure.
This may sound like a complete contradiction - with everything on show, being on top can leave you feeling exposed and overtly vulnerable. Cowgirl comes up time and time again when discussing feeling insecure, so let’s flip it on its head and get comfortable being uncomfortable. Face your partner and straddle them with a knee on either side of their hips.
Let your dominant side come out as you control the pace, rhythm, and movement. Feel your confidence grow as you let your dominant side come out. Control the pace, rhythm, and movement to find the pleasure-inducing combination.
Do the same as above but flip it and reverse it! This does wonders for you *assets* the bounce of your ass is sure to have your partner telling you how damn good you look! The bonus of this position is that if you are self-conscious the lack of eye contact can make you feel even more comfortable. You have the opportunity to purely focus on the physical sensation, and not worry about what your partner is seeing.
Face to face
Lay curled around one another, hooking your legs over your partner’s hips leaving you close enough for penetration. This position can be reassuring as an intimate connection is established as your partner faces you with close physical contact and direct eye contact.
The ultimate position for those feeling a little lazy, get under the covers and have your partner touch you from behind. With the option for penetrative sex or just some light touching, you can focus on clitoral stimulation and explore without being on full display.
Oral sex lets you really focus on yourself (or your partner). This can help with emotional connection as it brings you and your partner together in the most intimate way. With an increase in intimacy, expect yourself to grow in confidence with this partner in the bedroom.
Get naughty in front of a mirror
Getting to it whilst looking at yourself in the mirror can be great for body confidence. Discuss this with your partner first - because god forbid they think you’re getting off just watching yourself! But this can really give you the full experience as you watch yourselves get intimate on full display and appreciate just how sexy you are.
Show your partner just what you like and amp up the sexual tension by simply pleasuring yourself. Seeing how aroused your partner gets from watching you touch yourself can be a huge confidence boost and turn on! Mutual masturbation has numerous benefits for your sex life to read more check out why you should let your partner watch you masturbate.