Making sexual resolutions may sound like a daunting task - as admittedly I’ve never heard anyone relay a sex-positive resolution rather than the traditional ‘eat healthier’ and ‘drink less’. But these life changes can be equally as life-changing for those who choose to engage with them. They can open up a world of sex positivity allowing for more fun, more wellness-focused and intimate sex life.
These can be things you strive to do on your own, whilst your dating or perhaps rope your long-term partner into making these promises too. You can regularly check in to make sure you are doing your best to make the world a more sensual and sex-positive place.
Stop faking orgasms
We are all guilty of faking orgasms - albeit it more common among women. This causes damage to your partner with misinformation, but it also stops you from learning what you like in bed. If you can’t openly communicate where feels SO good, how do you expect to feel SO good? Ok - so you don’t want to bruise anyone’s ego but by communicating what would help you reach the climactic finish you can make them into a better lover.
Fake orgasms help no one and I mean no one, so leave them in last year where they belong.
Focus on sexual self-care
This can be booking yourself in for a smear test, regularly practicing safe sex, taking your contraceptives or just having a good look in the mirror at your genitals. Checking in with what your body needs physically is just as important as the sex life itself. And avoid diagnosing yourself before seeing the doctor, it’s difficult to see yourself objectively and can cause a lot of uncomfortable feelings and dread when seeing your doctor.
So this is another one that should be a given but needs reiterating as everyone can always strive to do more when it comes to consent. A jokey ‘no’ ‘not now’ or ‘i’m tired’ is still a no. Don’t try to talk your partner into sex, uphold those boundaries and don’t try to push them.
This can also be extended to acts in the bedroom, if you want to try something new maybe a daring new position or some BDSM then chat about it first. Don’t spring it upon them and hope for the best, as this could be not what your partner wants.
Don’t slut-shame or body shame
Everyone knows this behavior isn’t ok but sometimes those thoughts can creep into your head when looking at Instagram or meeting someone new. This kind of behavior is usually rooted in misogyny and is the perfect example of internalized oppression amongst women. Let’s no longer perpetuate hate and instead make societal changes by addressing these negative actions on an individual level.
2020 has shown us how important it is to be kind and reach out to people, so let’s take what we’ve learned and make a promise to carry on being kinder this 2021.
Consume ethical porn
Ethically produced porn is porn that is made consensually, the performers are paid fairly and not pushed to do things. Porn that places the performer’s safety and preference first, and aims to illustrate real sex (and real orgasms!). It is a responsible type of porn and largely supports ethical sexual values for the workers and the consumers. It’s a no-brainer, right? Why wouldn’t you want to consume fair-trade porn? Well here is a list of some of the top sites to ethically get your rocks off.
Open up about sex
Talk about sex. With your partner, with your friends, with your family, with anyone who will listen! This may seem a little difficult at first but it is the best way to shake sexual stigma and elevate the conversation about sexual health and pleasure. You may find yourself learning more about the people around you or just having a good giggle.
Expand your sex education
You’re never too old to learn more about sex, whether that be sexual identity, sexual activity, anatomy, or societal expectations. Remind yourself that sex isn’t about the actions but rather the sensations and connection. Follow sex-positive influencers on social media, listen to podcasts, read… and read a lot. We even have an article on things we wish we’d learned in sex ed, why not make this your starting point and delve deeper into a world full of sex-positivity.
Try something new
Spice up your sex life! Experience new sensations during masturbation and partnered sex this year by bringing in an exciting new toy into the bedroom. You’ll feel things you have previously dreamed of and have explosive orgasms. MysteryVibe offers a sex toy for couples to suit all tastes, from first-timers to pleasure product pros. See how MysteryVibe can help your sex life flourish.