Having an orgasm is one of the ultimate pleasures of life. It can stimulate feelings of euphoria, excitement and satisfaction, especially if it’s the mind-blowing kind. Unfortunately, the mind-blowing kind of orgasm isn’t always easy to come by. A 2015 research study concluded that only about 50% of women consistently achieve an orgasm when having sex, while 9% have never experienced an orgasm.
We’ve already talked about enhancing male orgasms, so this time let’s cover the female orgasm. If you want to take your orgasmic experience to another level of pleasure or if you’ve never experienced an orgasm before, don’t worry. We’re here to help you achieve the best orgasm of your life.
Common Questions About Orgasms
Before we dive into the best orgasm tips and tricks, let’s answer a few common questions on orgasms.
What Actually Happens During an Orgasm?
When you’re aroused, the blood flow to your vagina increases, making it more sensitive. Your breathing, heart rate and blood pressure also increase as you become more and more stimulated. As you approach climax, you may feel your muscles contracting or twitching. The feeling of pleasure intensifies until you release the tension and finish.
What are the Different Types of Orgasms?
People have different erogenous zones and can reach climax from stimulating specific parts of the body. This is why orgasms come in several forms: clitoral, cervical, G-spot, nipple, anal, blended and vaginal to name a few. You can experience different levels of pleasure with each type of orgasm, so don’t limit experimenting on your body to well-known regions and discover what feels best for you.
Is it Okay to Masturbate Daily?
Masturbating on a daily basis is safe and has multiple health benefits, especially when you reach your climax. It helps you improve your mood, release stress, relax, release sexual tension, understand your sexual wants and needs, and it can help you sleep better as well. Additionally, there’s no such thing as too much masturbation since doing it even multiple times a day has no harmful effects on your body.
How Can I Have an Orgasm Every Single Time?
Not having orgasms 100% of the time is normal, so don’t beat yourself up if you do not climax every single time. However, you can increase your chance of orgasm to have more (not to mention the best) orgasms by following the eight tips below.
How to Have the Best Female Orgasm Ever
Following these tips and tricks can help you achieve consistent, mind-blowing orgasms with or without a partner:
Couples, don’t skip cuddling and foreplay
According to sex therapist and relationship specialist Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, having an orgasm requires several things. These include blood flow to your pelvis, muscular tension and the brain triggering oxytocin (also known as the love hormone). The best way to get all these is to gradually build up arousal through snuggling before sex, kissing and taking your time in foreplay.
Use a vibrator
Vibrators can help increase the intensity and frequency of your orgasms through targeting your G-spot and clitoris, whether you’re masturbating or having sex. Explore other erogenous zones to discover new sensations such as anal play and nipple play. You could also try allowing your partner to use a vibrator to stimulate your senses while you’re blindfolded or handcuffed.
Although traditionally made for men, a vibrating cock ring like Tenuto, can also be used to amplify sensations by using it with a dildo for double the sensation during masturbation, directly on your vulva for full stimulation or on your nipples.
Don’t forget the lube
Using lube can not only reduce uncomfortable friction from penetration, it also makes certain sexual positions more comfortable. Lube can also help build up excitement and tension, and lead to higher levels of arousal, pleasure and fulfillment. Try dabbing some lube on your finger during nipple play to increase the intensity of foreplay or solo play and achieve a different type of orgasm.
Focus on clitoral stimulation
During sex, focusing on sexual positions that directly stimulate your clitoris, such as the cowgirl, increase your chances of having that mind-blowing orgasm. Since you are on top in a cowgirl position, you can easily control the pressure and movement against your clitoris to maximize stimulation. With sex positions where there is no contact between your clitoris and your partner, for example doggy style, use your fingers to stimulate your clitoris or amplify sensations using a compact vibrator to stimulate your clitoris.
Take note of your ovulation period
A woman's libido usually peaks during ovulation—about two weeks before the first day of a period. A study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine shows that the clitoris swells up to 20% more than usual in this period, increasing arousal which may lead to a more pleasurable climax during this time. It is possible to predict the ovulation period with a regular menstrual cycle or by using a period tracker, calculator or app. However, if you have an irregular cycle, we recommend seeing an OB/GYN for an evaluation.
Try the sensory deprivation technique
Did you know that depriving yourself of a certain sense can naturally heighten another? This means that using a blindfold, turning off the lights or wearing sound-cancelling earphones can help you focus more on the physical sensations you’re having during a sexual experience. Be prepared for extra moans when you do this on your own or with a partner. For more sight and sound deprivation foreplay ideas, read this article.
Think about your sexual fantasies
Having the best orgasm is not just about physical stimulation, it involves your thoughts as well. Stress, anxiety, worries and other psychological factors can take a toll on your libido, and eventually your sex life. If you’re distracted during sex, it’ll be harder for you to stay aroused, enjoy the sensations all over your body, and reach climax. One of the best ways to keep your mind focused when masturbating or having sex is to fantasize about things that turn you on. Think about your wildest sex fantasies, your best sex experience, something you’ve watched before or someone you dream of having sex with. Need some inspiration? Here’s the top 6 sexual fantasies for women.
Try orgasm denial or edging
Orgasm denial is the act of experiencing a high level of sexual arousal and pleasure for a long time without allowing an orgasm whereas edging is bringing yourself right to the ‘edge’ - the brink of orgasm - only to stop or slow down stimulation just before reaching climax. Tease yourself with fantasies or touching your body whilst denying yourself release and heighten the anticipation before allowing yourself to orgasm. This often leads to feeling a much more intense and high-level orgasm.
Consider taking orgasm breaks
If you’ve been sexually active for a quite a while and you’ve noticed that your orgasms are not as satisfying anymore, try taking a break from masturbation and sex for a day or two. This can help you reset things and start afresh. Sometimes a quick rest is just what you need.
You’re All Set!
Indeed, you can achieve the best orgasm of your life with the right amount of excitement, stimulation, oxytocin, muscular tension, blood flow and anticipation. Keep things fun, experimental and exciting by incorporating sex toys into your sex life.