When it comes to pleasure, we’re often focused on those parts of the body that give us the most. The clitoris and penis have the most nerve endings, and for many people stimulation of them is vital to bring on orgasm.
But as we’ve mentioned before on this blog, orgasm doesn’t have to be the only goal of sex. In fact, exploring how different parts of the body respond to stimulation can be a really useful step in broadening your own pleasure – and that of your partners.
There is one body part, usually ignored, which when massaged can lead to stronger erections, increased ejaculation, and new levels of pleasure.
What are we talking about?
The male perineum.
It’s the male p-spot!
In this guide to the male perineum we will cover:
- What is the Male Perineum?
- How Do You Stimulate the Perineum?
- Male Perineum Massage: Vibrators and Lube
- Perineal Stimulation as Part of Sex and Masturbation
And if you’d just like to know more about what Tenuto, our wearable vibrator for men, can do for your perineum, click here.
The male perineum is the erogenous zone between a man’s testicles and anus.
You might not have experienced male perineum massage before – it rarely shows up in sex tip articles or stories about masturbation, but it has a lot of pleasurable potential.
The key use of the perineal muscle is to access the prostate during external prostate massages.
What is the Prostate?
The prostate gland is a walnut-sized gland that surrounds the neck of the bladder and controls the release of semen. Prostate stimulation can be performed through an external prostate massage via the transverse perineal muscle, or an internal prostate massage via the anus.
Prostate stimulation and perineum massages are the gateway to the nerve endings of the male g-spot.
Now, not all men are comfortable with anal play and the use of anal sex toys. Maybe it’s due to the gay stereotype surrounding anal play. It could also simply be a personal preference.
Nonetheless, if anal play and internal massages are not your cup of tea but you still want to hit your g-spot (or should we say p-spot), a perineal massage is the way to go.
We spoke to a few volunteers about perineal stimulation – what they like, and how – and we found that this often neglected part of the body could give way more pleasure than you may previously have thought.
As with any stimulation, everyone’s experiences and preferences are going to be different. But one of the things that most of our interviewees agreed on was that firm pressure is the way to go.
Place a couple of fingertips on the perineum, and rub in a circular motion or stroke firmly through the skin.
One of our anonymous contributors explained it like this:
“Fingertip stroking (or licking) of the whole area feels pretty great; but it’s great in the same way that fingertip stroking and licking anywhere sensitive feels great.
Once I’m a bit more warmed up, firm pressure is definitely the way to go. I remember reading once that the penis goes back into the body a few inches, and a firm pressure with good back and forth rhythm (or an oval shape) feels a lot like a handjob.
You can feel the shape of the muscles, and if you can imagine giving a handjob but using just your thumb to stimulate the underside of the penis, you’ve got the right idea. Ease off on the pressure where you can feel the muscle fade away.
The trick is to avoid ‘digging in’; so use the whole flat of the thumb, not the tip (or even the flat of a couple of knuckles for more area if they aren’t terrified). The muscles down there are fairly robust, and you need to rub ‘through’ them.
As long as I’m not being poked I can take a lot of pressure. Think giving a back massage, or thereabouts. I think making the pelvic floor muscles relax is one of the reasons it works for me.
In terms of technique, being massaged with gentle pressure around the anus, moving to a firm stroke back and forth over the perineum (imagine a keyhole shape) will get me. Literally every time.
Combine it with other more direct stimulation – like a blow job, hand job, or rimming – for best results. Ideally a combination.”
For others, a gentler approach works best – particularly if you have a very sensitive perineum.
Another interviewee told us:
“I love gentle touching and stroking of the area. I find it very relaxing yet stimulating. However, I do also wear G-strings regularly which give a different feeling. When wearing a G-string, I’ll often move my hips to feel the G-string which is a slightly sharper feeling but still pleasurable.”
And to show just how varied sensitivity can be, another of our volunteers – Daniel – explained that:
“After reading about perineum stimulation and how incredibly stimulating it was for some people I tried it a few times. Every time I had to stop after a short while because my skin there is very sensitive and any sort of slightly forceful rubbing is quickly getting painful for me and is rather not pleasant.”
If you want to explore male perineum massage, starting with a gentle touch and then exploring firmer touches/rubs seems like the right way to go if it’s your first time. And if you find that perineal play is something you’d like to work into your sex and masturbation toolkit, there are other ways to get that stimulation too.
As a general rule, if something feels good without lube, it’s worth trying it with lube as well: the slickness gives a different texture and – particularly if you’re sensitive – can allow for softer touches that don’t pull or rub against the skin.
Lube also means you can play for longer without irritating or rubbing at the skin.
There are a variety of sex toys such as prostate massagers and male vibrators that can heighten the pleasure and drive on the p-spot.
Vibrators like Tenuto (the world’s first smart wearable vibrator for men) can add an extra depth: providing vibrations that a couple of our volunteers found really pleasurable.
One of them explained:
“We have a vibrator which feels great. A special mention though, to our metal butt plug – with that in and me face down, pressure on the perineum with the vibrator makes the plug vibrate on my prostate, and it’s got some serious heft. It’s very intense.”
Even the MysteryVibe's Crescendo can be bent and twisted to sit perfectly against the perineum, and can be controlled via remote for kinkier play.
If you are new to vibrators, check out these 5 Reasons Your Penis Will Love Vibrators for Men. You’d be surprised at what you or your partners are missing!
Peter talked about vibrations too. He explained that an ex-partner once…
“…bought a small ‘couples vibrator’ to use together. We used it on each other and had a lot of fun. When she tried it on me, it also felt amazing on my perineum – rumbling and vibrating feels simultaneously arousing and relaxing.
In my experience with previous partners since, I’ve found it hard to describe enjoying perennial stimulation. I think that the perineum is often seen as the precursor to rimming – just a warm up, but honestly for me both are amazing and if I could find the way to ask I’d honestly occasionally love to have an evening of mainly perineum play.
After we broke up – she left me the vibrator along with some knickers as a kind of memory of the times we had. I continue to use it occasionally myself. I find the vibration on my taint really nice – but it’s never as strong a feeling when alone. I guess it’s a bit like how you can’t tickle yourself – you expect it and your brain cancels out the intensity of the sensation.”
Peter also pointed out that if you’re into BDSM, tools like Wartenburg pinwheels can be used (with caution!) on the perineum:
“She wanted to see what else I was curious about – and brought out a Wartenberg wheel. I nervously said yes, and watched as she started rolling it across my skin along my arm. The sensation was so new and interesting. I lay face down on the bench again, trusting her as she rolled it over me, it felt so different in each place.
My head made me bliss out like a head massage, though my skin awoke along my side and back – feeling all tingly.
I couldn’t handle the pinwheel the head of my circumcised cock – the sudden rush of sensation was too much for me, so she rolled it down over my balls and around my perineum – that new feeling of sensation there suddenly flooded back how great a variety of sensation feels for me there. All the sensations were building up, it felt amazing.”
It was interesting to hear these stories about perineal stimulation, particularly as the perineum often seems to be ignored in sex tips articles.
As we were speaking to them, a couple of our volunteers explained that they found it difficult to ask for male perineum massage, or that their discovery of this pleasurable part of the body had come as a bit of a surprise: no one had told them before that this area could be pleasurable to touch, and that including it in masturbation and sex might be quite enjoyable.
What else comes as a surprise for many?
Perineum stimulation is good for more than just pleasure.
Perineal massages and prostate stimulation are fantastic for prostate health. Considering that the prostate controls ejaculation, massaging and stimulating the p-spot through perineal massage or anal play has the potential to increase ejaculation. As we mentioned in our prostate guide, ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Stimulation to this area also heightens sensations and increases blood flow to the genitals. Increased blood flow not only leads to harder erections, but also increases sensitivity in the prostate area, enhancing your perineum massage experience.
That’s right. More pleasure and better health at the same time.
As always, be careful and start slow! You don’t want a perineal muscle strain!
Hopefully this quick overview has given you some ideas, and served as a reminder that pleasure is often way more varied and interesting than the sex tips articles might have you think!
Next time you feel shy about asking for perineal play, remember, it’s all about improving your prostate health!