Being in a healthy long-distance relationship isn’t easy, especially if you live in opposite parts of the globe with different time zones. You have to deal with physical distance, and the fact that you won’t see your partner as often as couples in close-proximity relationships do. Plus, you must be intentional in communicating on a daily basis (even if for some, it means losing a few hours of sleep) to maintain emotional intimacy. This also means that keeping your sex life fun, exciting, and pleasurable requires creativity, thinking out of the box, and constant resourcefulness.
Thankfully, we live in an era where communication opportunities are very much available, and having satisfying sex is just a matter of logistics. So, if you’re in a long-distance relationship or are considering entering one, we’ve got some sex ideas that can help draw you and your partner closer to each other while keeping the sparks flying in your long-distance love.
How Do You Tease Your Partner Long Distance?
Here are some ideas that can help get you and your partner into the mood for virtual sex:
1. Send voice clips or naughty messages.
One of the best ways to set the mood is by sending seductive voice clips or flirty messages. Experiment with using naughty puns, wordplay, and euphemisms during normal conversations throughout the day. This can also challenge your partner to come up with some titillating puns for some fun sexual banter and set their mind to having sex later in the day.
2. Send nudes or sexy videos.
If you feel comfortable and with your partner’s consent, you can send nudes or seductive videos to spark that eroticism. Wear something sexy or use props (e.g., licking a lollipop or ice), and take a photo or video of yourself at an angle that could surely be a huge turn-on for your partner. If you feel comfortable doing a strip tease, sexy dance, or taking a video of yourself while in the shower, you can do those as well – anything that could leave your partner wanting you, stat.
3. Share porn videos or erotic stories you like.
Another way to hint that you’re up for sexy time is by sharing a porn video or erotic story that turns you on. Discuss what you like most about the sexual act, and how you would do it with your partner. Play around with words using a sexy voice, and wait until your partner responds and gets turned on.
4. Send an erotic letter to your partner.
If you’re celebrating a special occasion, or you just want to celebrate feeling sexual, send your partner a gift and include a personalized erotic letter or message. You can also spray your favorite scent or perfume into the letter to give them a tangible ‘sense’ and reminder of you and make them want to hop into a video chat with you right away.
5. Play sex games.
Invite your partner to play sex games with you. These can be done virtually and in person. Sex games can include sexual truth or dare, or any game with an added sexual caveat. Turn a regular board game into a high-stakes game by giving your partner the best virtual sex of their life if they end up winning, whatever you think would work for you both. The key here is to enjoy each other, have a good laugh, and add variety to your sex life.
6. Create a sex bucket list.
Bucket lists are always exciting because they give you something to look forward to in the future, or seeing each other in person. You can create your own sex bucket list and then send it to your partner, or include your partner. Sharing fantasies and sex bucket lists can also give you an idea about their sexual desires and fantasies and determine how you can help achieve them. This activity could also incentivize some sexting or role-playing sessions, so it’s totally worth doing with your partner.
How Can You Make Sex More Fun Online?
Here are some tips that can help you spice up your long-distance relationship, virtual sex life:
1. Set the scene.
If your partner agreed to have virtual sex, bring out sex toys or props, set your phone or laptop, light up some candles, play sexy music, or anything to emulate a sexual situation in person, or anything that makes you feel confident and sexy. The goal is to get into a place where you can say or do anything you want, and have as much fun as you can, without distractions.
2. Lots of sexting.
“Foreplay” through sexting is a great way to turn up the heat. Describe in detail how you feel, what you crave, and how you want to satisfy your partner. You can also do this during a voice call before turning video cameras on. To keep things exciting, it’s best not to send everything in one go. Break up what you want to say, so your partner has the chance to respond, and build up their desires and fantasies.
3. Enjoy a mutual masturbation session.
After foreplay, turn your videos on and masturbate together. Place your phone or laptop in a way that your partner will see all of you, every move you make. Touch your body parts and imagine your partner doing it to you. Get risqué and use your tongue, eyes, hips, etc., anything to help your partner become more and more aroused. Sensual facial expressions and moaning could also help keep both of you aroused. Also masturbate using sex toys and vibrators to help get you off, and create a sexy visual for your partner.
4. Have fun with sex toys.
Using vibrators can make you feel like you’re having physical sex, which can also help with staying stimulated during virtual sex. Vibrators and sex toys can help you reach your climax by targeting erogenous zones and allowing for adjusting the level of vibration according to your preference. Using sex toys with your partner can improve arousal, increase pleasure, and facilitate more intense orgasms during virtual sex.
5. Dirty talk, generously.
Dirty talking can keep couples engaged during virtual sex. Explain what you’re doing to yourself, how good it feels, or say things that would arouse your partner. Get extremely detailed, so your partner can also imagine how it feels. If you need inspiration, listen and borrow from audio erotica.
6. Explore various online sex positions.
Try exploring different online sex positions with your camera, phone, or laptop. For example, if you want to feel like you’re doing a missionary sex position, place your camera above you, so your partner would feel like they’re above you as well. Meanwhile, if you want to do a doggy pose or anal sex, you can position your camera in a way that would show like you’re in that position as well.
However, if you’re a bit shy about virtual sex with your partner, start with virtual sex while taking a bath or shower. This way, being naked feels more organic, and you can easily cover some parts of your body with bubbles, or water.
7. Make time for role play.
If you enjoy dressing up and getting into a certain role or persona, role-playing could be another fun way to keep your long-distance sex life exciting. If you haven’t tried virtual sex before, assuming a persona or character can give you just enough psychological distance so that you don’t feel self-conscious since it’s not ‘you’, some people find sexual freedom in role-playing. For added points, speak and act like the role you’re portraying to give it a heightened dimension of realism. Role-play can be a great way to explore fantasy scenarios and power dynamics that you wouldn’t otherwise explore on your own.
8. Get kinky.
Who said you can’t get kinky in a long-distance relationship? If your partner is down for it, talk about which kinks you’d like to explore with them and on your own. Break out the collar and leash during a video chat with your partner, use nipple clamps during your next virtual sex session, or blindfold yourself and have your partner tell you what to do for a heightened sensory experience. Kink offers a lot of freedom to experiment and play with different temperatures and sensations.
9. Listen to a sex playlist.
If you have songs that get you in the mood, make a sex playlist. Involve your partner and have them make their own or you can do it together. Play this sex playlist while having virtual sex, sexting, or even just chatting. This can keep the vibe intense, help you stay in the mood, and feel more connected to your partner while having sex.
A Little Reminder for Your Safety
When possible, use encrypted messaging apps when sending nudes, videos, voice clips, or anything sensitive material to protect you and your partner against information leaks and hackers. Data encryption translates data into a unique form or code so that only users who have the password or access can view the data. Some of the most secure messaging apps include WhatsApp, Dust, Confide, and Signal.
Additionally, if you record your video calls (with your partner’s consent, of course), be sure to keep them in storage apps built with optimal security.
Sexual intimacy is totally possible for long-distance couples as long as you and your partner are committed to sustaining it. With the availability of communication technologies, sex toys, and this list of virtual sex ideas, you have options to keep your sex life fun and exciting. You just have to set healthy boundaries based on your comfort level and respect them to maintain a healthy sex life.